How To Apologize – Rules For A Harmonious Relationship

Even the most ideal relationship is sometimes overshadowed by a quarrel, after which you have to ask for forgiveness. Everyone has a different approach to this process. This statement applies to those who ask for forgiveness, and those from whom they ask. Learn how to apologize below.

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Serious conflict or petty misunderstanding – how to recognize

It is not necessary to look for hostility or a global catastrophe of relations in every quarrel. Every day we are affected by many factors that determine our emotional state. This includes both moral and physical aspects. And sometimes, one careless word is enough for the conflict to flare up like a huge fire.

The ability to always remain calm is not available to everyone, plus, some naturally have a hot temper. If a quarrel has occurred, and you are the “injured party” – do not make hasty conclusions, everyone needs time to digest what happened. Analyze the event. Maybe there is a simple misunderstanding. In most cases, it turns out that the problem, as they say, is not worth a damn.

The art of asking for forgiveness

To build a harmonious relationship, it is important to be able to ask for forgiveness. Everyone had to apologize. But do you know how to do it right, because forgiveness should bring relief to both parties? Not the humiliation of the offender and the exaltation of the one to whom they apologize, namely, relief. Nobody needs formal action. And it’s not about the number of words. Sometimes a dry “sorry” can sound more capacious than a heated and emotional speech.

How to apologize – 6 rules from psychologists

• Rule 1
  Guilt must be recognized. It is important to understand what the problem is, and what exactly you are apologizing for. A sincere, honest conversation is an excellent foundation for a guilty plea procedure. So, the current situation will be analyzed, and there is a chance not to repeat this trouble in the future.
• Rule 2
  No need to justify. Justification is basically what you say to yourself when explaining the cause of the conflict. Leave it for introspection.
• Rule 3
  Never resort to such a form of constructing an appeal as – I, of course, apologize, but you are also wrong. Thus, you shift some of the blame for the quarrel to the other side, and this may cause the conflict to continue. The desire to get to the bottom of the truth is not bad, but sometimes you just need to give in.
• Rule 4
  Do not clown around, do not speculate on some important things. You can’t say that a hopeless situation forced you to apologize.
• Rule 5
  Asking for forgiveness, in no case do not press. Having said what you think is necessary, it may be worth leaving the person so that he can analyze what happened. Act intuitively, according to the situation.
• Rule 6
  Look the person in the eye. If the relationship allows, touch the hand. Tactile contact brings together.

Choosing a reconciliation method

The tactics of behavior depend on the nature of the one from whom you are going to ask for forgiveness. There are people for whom the simple words “please forgive me” may be enough. But what about those who have a complex character or are touchy by nature, or even worse – have the ability to think and wind themselves up? We turn on the psychologist and act.

Try to put yourself in the shoes of the person you are asking for forgiveness from. Understand the person, try on his feelings.

After that, start looking for words – necessary and suitable. Remember that by asking for forgiveness, you show the person your respect for him, the desire to maintain the relationship, their significance to you.

People who don’t apologize

There is a category of people who do not ask for forgiveness. Absolutely. They can demonstrate with all their appearance that they are upset, they can make some kind of conciliatory gestures, but they simply cannot utter words of apology.

Why is this happening? If we are not talking about the manifestation of narcissism, then most likely there is an association between the process of apology with something humiliating. The reason for this most often lies in children’s complexes. Perhaps parents or teachers forced the child to apologize without understanding the essence of the problem while suppressing the personality.

This problem needs to be solved because it will be difficult for a person with such complexes to build sincere and honest relationships, something will constantly interfere. It is necessary to analyze what causes this or that reaction. Try to recall when asking for forgiveness was unfair, done under duress. Playing out a long-standing youthful situation, getting answers to existing questions will cease to influence the actions of the present.

Ask for forgiveness and move on

Finally, do something nice for the person you asked for forgiveness from. If this is your own person, spend time together, even just after a pause. This is necessary to patch up the hole that arose from a quarrel.

After reconciliation, be prepared that for some time the person will be offended by you. It depends on the degree of guilt and the character of the person. Don’t demand a quick relationship. Don’t demand a quick alignment of the relationship. And remember, forgiveness is not a duty, but a goodwill.

Learn to apologize and forgive, these are important elements of a holistic character. Psychologists say that the ability to truly forgive is inherent in mature individuals.

“Forgiving is more courageous than punishing. The weak cannot forgive. Forgiveness is the property of the strong.” Mahatma Gandhi